SEE SAW ME

You think you are caught between two forces.
You are not. You are fueling a seesaw
that feeds your comfort zone.

This is not about making a decision.
It is about seeing what is underneath the one you cannot make.

Nothing you enter here is stored or seen by anyone.

Phase one

The Decision

Name what you are moving toward - and cannot seem to reach.

It does not need to be fully formed. Just enough that you can feel it when you read it back.

Phase two

The Seesaw

Two things live inside you about this. Name both.

ME
Look closer
ADRENALINE CORTISOL
The SEE rises - hope, desire, the pull of what could be.
Then collapses back into SAW - dread, fear, the weight of why not.

The SEE creates enough aliveness that the collapse back into SAW is inevitable and feels unbearable. The SAW creates enough unsustainable discomfort that the body reaches for SEE again.

This is the loop. It has nothing to do with the decision.

The hope is real. The dread is real. Neither is the problem. Neither is the answer. Together, they create the mechanics of keeping your comfort zone in place.

The seesaw is the perpetual fuel of your chronic discomfort.

The circuit

This is what runs underneath.

SEE
adrenaline spike
SAW
cortisol descent
BUT
urgency · aliveness · craving · pull
dread · collapse · grief · flatness
The spike of wanting and the collapse of dread create a circuit,
perpetually seeming in need of making an impossible decision.

The SeeSaw is not about the decision.
It never was. It is about sustaining familiarity.

Phase three

ME

Underneath the seesaw - what is already there?

Name the quality of sensations in your body and where they are located.

Not what you think about the situation. What the body is carrying right now, underneath the SeeSaw.

I feel nothing

That is the information.
A system that cannot sense its own baseline has been running on it the longest.
Write "nothing" and continue. The nothing is the state.

How old does this feeling feel?

The felt age of this state - simply think of an age number that comes up.

Phase four

This is your comfort zone.

Not peace. Not safety. This.
The body has been living here. This is what the SeeSaw perpetuates.

60 seconds

Phase five
If you want to work with this directly - through the body, not through insight - that is what one-on-one sessions are for.
Work with ME