From day one, as humans, we are going through stages and chapters of development and the developmental stages that we can successfully complete open us up to some new levels of developmental stages. When, on the other hand, we have not successfully completed a certain stage of development, we perpetually come back to it in […]
It takes the height of arrogance and frankly, a big lack of common sense for one human being to say, it really is an excellent idea for me to tell someone else how they’re supposed to be or to live their own life. That’s just not the way healthy relating is designed to be. Healthy relating is about giving each
Simply put, gaslighting is when another person fucks with your reality – I have chosen this very colourful language because it really captures best the way in which someone will deny that your experience of what you observe is not what you observe, that what you are feeling or believing according to your inner perception,
I have to say, rejection is, arguably, the most electrically charged core wound of the human psyche. Through reading this article, you might notice that I myself have been exposed to this quite dramatically and that there is a flavour of pain lingering in the lines that follow… Before I begin, I want to state
Living in a state of mind that stems from emotional trauma is dysfunctional and unhealthy and it impacts our whole view of how we are orienting to relationship and how we’re showing up in relationship and that, most importantly, breeds suffering, pain, depression and constant unfulfillment. If we enter a relationship through attachment trauma, where
Normal human brain function is to grief and then let go of something that has ended. There is a normal, healthy grieving process that takes place subsequent to any type of death – whether it is a person that died or a relationship or circumstance that has ended. Jumping out the wagon of this normalcy,
How to Heal Co-dependency I wrote about two types of attachment style in my previous posts and that’s all nice and dandy. Now what? What do you do if you are one of the types in a relationship to the other? As with anything else, the key is awareness. Awareness of what? Each individual has to
If the avoidant avoids, the anxious preoccupied chooses a partner that is forever on the verge of leaving them or treat them inconsistently. You’ll remember from my previous post that the dismissive tends to thrive in these hot/cold relationships, where they constantly withdraw from a partner who’s about to come too close for comfort. Well,
Have you ever had someone telling you: “I’m fine, everything is perfectly fine”, and yet, their life seems to look like a battlefield that never ever ends? From my current perspective and understanding of life, emotional unavailability seems to almost be a default in human beings, whether it is lived as a dismissive/avoidant or as
Let’s say you are a single woman and you meet a guy. Let’s assume you are attracted by this guy. What is attraction really? Some instinctual part of your brain is going to communicate to you that you and this guy can create something unique – usually, it is a child, but it can be